"Why are you so loud?"
"Why are you so loud?"
Thoughts of an introvert
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Assalamu alaikum and welcome!
If you were to ask this to someone who has a loud voice due to their nature and personality or who is simply lively, open and communicative, they would wonder why this question was asked. And rightly so. Because this question would send the message, "You're weird the way you are. That bothers me."
More often, however, people are asked "Why are you so quiet?" I've been asked this question since I was little, and every time I've had the thought "What's wrong with me?"
Anyone who has experienced this knows how tiring it is to have to justify your nature. Because even if the other person is indirectly asking us to communicate with each other, this question gives you the feeling that you are not okay the way you are.
Of course, you can talk less than usual in certain situations, for example when you're not feeling well, when something is bothering you, and you don't have the need or the energy to talk. But it can also simply be that you are introverted and appear quiet or even shy on the outside (which doesn't necessarily mean that introverts are shy) but have thousands of thoughts, feelings and ideas on the inside that aren't being expressed on the outside at the moment.
For years, I tried not to show my nature to the outside world, to present myself as more talkative and sociable, with the result that I was no longer true to myself and of course not authentic.
And I often wondered why introverts tend to be asked about their behaviour but extroverts less often.
The difference between the two traits is that introverts draw their energy from spending a certain amount of time alone, spending a lot of time with what is going on inside and extroverts draw their energy from being with other people, interactions and stimulation from outside in general.
Both are simply different ways of recharging their batteries. However, it seems to be more noticeable if you are more inclined to withdraw for a short time to recharge your batteries. This can perhaps be explained by the fact that, according to statistics, there are around 75% extroverts and 25% introverts in the world. Introverts simply stand out much more because they are less common. The problem that arises from this is that introverts who are present in a group where there are more extroverts are more likely to have to justify having a different personality trait.
The "normal" in society seems to be that which is more common. And the "normal" in this case seems to be extraversion, as it is more common in society. This can give rise to questions such as "Why are you so quiet?" But perhaps such questions also occur because silence can scare us humans. Silence makes us confront our thoughts and feelings. And that mainly means dealing with ourselves. And personally, it scares me to deal with myself. But I also believe that fear is present in all of us. Because dealing with yourself also means dealing with your negative feelings and experiences, with your own mistakes and actions that were carried out consciously or unconsciously.
In order to avoid having to deal with all these things, it is more pleasant not to allow this silence to arise in the first place and not to give free rein to our own thoughts, which are deeply rooted in each of us. But don't get me wrong, introverts also struggle to deal intensively with themselves and their negative experiences and feelings. It is not easy to see yourself as you really are, with your weaknesses, faults and flaws.
But what I would like to say is that both traits have something beautiful about them. Introversion, because this nature makes it a little easier to think about yourself and everything else. Because it is important to reflect on yourself in order to be able to develop further. And extraversion, because it makes it easier to socialize and interact openly with everyone, which is also very important, as social interaction is enriching and also helps you to develop. And here, too, I think that both personality traits can complement each other. (True to the motto, when one person talks, another one has to listen ;) )
And within everyone, there is an extroverted and an introverted.
I really hope that I remove the invisible divide between extroverts and introverts and that we respect and appreciate each other's traits and benefit from them, as I firmly believe that there is a reason why we humans were created with these two opposing traits.
Feel free to leave me a comment with your thoughts on the subject and what experiences you have had as an introvert and an extrovert. I hope you enjoyed the article. I look forward to hearing from you!
Your Mindfulmuslima